This Chick Is Giving Away A Free Ticket To The Pats Game With Her If You'll Be Her Date

If every guy in Boston isn’t blowing up this girl’s phone right this second then you’re all fools. Damn fools, even. Free ticket to the Pats divisional round game with a recently single girl, who dumped her boyfriend because he wanted to settle down and she wanted to keep fucking guys named Not Him, and who’s in great shape with an awesome career? Talk about the dream situation. Take in the game with a hardbody who you know is going to fuck and you know isn’t looking for anything serious? Layups don’t get easier than that. And in case you’re worried she might be lying and is actually a fat chick, or a dude, don’t fret. This was posted on craigslist, everything is vetted for authenticity there and no one has ever been catfished. I’ll vouch.

PS – Yeah, I tried last night. Sent her a pic of me throwing a sweet spiral, so she knew we’d have some parking lot prowess. She might be a psychic, so just be mindful of that. Could be fun?

PPS – “Wahhh read your texts. You’re so cool showing off your 47 unread messages!” Shut the fuck up. If you read every text you get then you are a goddamn LOSER.